


Humbug

by PaxVobis



Series: SN'B Fibs [1]
Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Backstage, Fluff, Gentle Kissing, M/M, Minor Injuries, Request Meme, Secret Relationship, Sickfic, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 20:39:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13959561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaxVobis/pseuds/PaxVobis
Summary: Pickles x Tony, 2. Moving around while kissing, stumbling over things, pushing each other back against the wall/onto the bed.





	Humbug

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sneks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sneks/gifts).



Tony was laughing.

“It _ain’t_  funny,” said Pickles from where he was sprawled on the backstage couch, a horrible 70s stripes affair with a metal fan aimed at his head and a beer in hand, wearing only his black trunks and a crumpled Motley Crüe shirt as his body dripped sweat and melted him to the couch.  Tony, who had just come into the dressing room to check on him while the others were finishing off their gear check, was laughing at - well, at his overall position, drinking beer through a fucking straw, but mostly the big neon green cast on his leg, propped up on a pillow beside him on the couch and bound in tight.

“It’s bloody hilarious,” said Tony, beaming at him.  “You look like a fucking peppermint.”

He approached carefully, picking his way through the trash in the greenroom, the vicious tiger smile never leaving his face as Pickles glared at him from beneath his lopsided bandanna.  If it was anyone else, Pickles would have brought his other leg up for a little more, err, class, but since it was Tony he really did not give a fuck.  He’d seen it all.  He could deal with Pickles’ sweaty thighs one more time.

Tony tutted, inspecting it from where he stood over Pickles, his hair covering his face as he craned down.  “Did a real number on you,” he said, amused, “You’re wrapped up tighter than a nun’s – ”

“Tony,” interrupted Pickles, staring a hole through him, “You did this to me.”  But Tony only snorted at him, still chuckling to himself.

“Oh, you did this to yourself, bro.”

“ _No._   You did this to me.”  Pickles pointed at him, but Tony only grinned wider.  “What the hell am I gonna tell people?  What the hell am I gonna tell the  _press_  man?”

“You don’t have to answer to Kerrang,” said Tony sweetly, but he dropped down to crouch at Pickles’ level beside the couch, looking up at him with his hand resting lightly on the green cast.  “Tell them you fell off the stage during soundcheck or something.  They don’t  _care,_ s’long as it’s rock’n’roll _._ I mean just tell them you were fuckin’, it’s true, they’ll buy it.  Or, you backed your Harley over it.  You were pissed, jumped offa balcony, I dunno.  You’re the words guy, bro, just come up with some fib and you know they’ll swallow it.”

Pickles glared at him again, this time down his button nose, and sneered, “I’ll give you something to swallow, asshole.”  Tony just laughed at him.

“What if I can never dance again.  My career is over,” he continued, deadpan, “ _Your_  career is over.  You’ve killed us all, Tony.  It’s all  _your fault.”_ The further he went, the more giggles bubbled from Tony’s pursed lips as he tried to hold it in, his top hat bouncing on his scalp - already prettied up for the show.

Pickles stared at him, his fist crushed against his cheek, and then remarked prissily, “My boots are gonna clash.  My red boots.  They’re gonna clash so bad.”

“You shoulda told them then – ”

“I did!  I said,  _get me somethin’ that won’t clash with my boots,_ y’know,  _lilac or some shit_  and got this bullshit instead!  You know what they’re like, they never fucking listen, Tony!”  But Tony was just laughing  “ _Antonio.”_

Tony swallowed his laughter this time, looking up at Pickles from beneath his hat.  “I’m sorry, Pickles,” he said, his smile strained with mirth, “Seriously.  I’ll pay you back for it.”

“ _My fuckin’ dignity – ”_ Pickles started to whinge, but Tony held up his finger to his lips abruptly, silencing him.  Sweaty.  Mmh.

“I know.  But you look  _delicious,”_ said Tony, grinning, and then kissed him, in secret.


End file.
